Here's my 12 step programme to get you ready for parenthood:
1. Make sure all the doors and floorboards in your house are silent. Disconnect the doorbell and the house phone. From now on, anything that can wake a sleeping baby, will wake a sleeping baby and is therefore your arch nemesis.
2. Learn to prepare, chop and eat food one handed. While jiggling. Single handed toast spreading is particularly tricky but will serve you well for many years. *Top tip: lower your standards, you don't need the spread to reach all corners, heck, you can even just wipe the toast across the tub of utterly butterly if you're desperate* (Not that I've done that...... recently)
3. Take all the CDs out of your car and disable the radio. You won't need good music where you're going. Replace your entire music collection with one low budget annoying Nursery Rhymes CD. Occasionally, repeat one song on that CD continually for 2-3 days.