Saturday, 6 December 2014

How Christmas changes when you have children

Ah Christmas is coming. Lovely, relaxing, boozy, joyous, gluttonous Christmas.

Well not anymore sucker, you went and had babies didn't you, and ruined the whole bloody thing!!!

Let me fill you in on the things you'll miss about Christmas once you have little sprites of your own to make it 'magical' for...


Christmas Shopping

Remember in your early twenties before kids, and you had disposable income? When you had money to spend on romantic gestures, gifts for your friends, a new outfit for YOURSELF for Christmas Day? Well those days are long gone buddy. Kids suck up all your money along with your time and energy. Now you have no spare money to get your partner anything they actually want. 

No, now you'll get your husband "World's Best Dad" socks "from the kids" while your stupid maternal infatuation tricks you into accidentally spending a fortune on things for the kids that they don't even understand. (Hello Complete Works of Dr Suess for my 6 month old first born.)

Even sadder than that is the fact you'll do ALL of your Christmas shopping online. No one can brave the Christmas shops with 2 toddlers in tow, so you won't be browsing and finding inspiration in the shops, listening to the Christmas tunes, sipping a festive coffee. Eggnog latte anyone?... Oh no, not for you.  You will be frantically googling "gifts for 5 year olds" and "presents for Grandma" in bed in the few short hours between the kids bedtime and your own.


Thursday, 4 December 2014

Keep Your Child Safe This Christmas with a Flu Jab



This is a sponsored post.
The arrival of Christmas often spells the start of an upturn in the number of children contracting the flu virus. Winter is an ideal time for the flu virus to spread, and it can spread very quickly, especially in families with young children. For fit and healthy children, flu can lead to several days in bed. But for those with existing health issues, the effects can be far more serious. A flu vaccination vastly reduces the risk of your child contracting the virus, so it's a good idea to contact a flu vaccine clinic well before the festive season arrives.
Currently only children aged 2 to 4 are being offered the flu vaccine on the NHS, unless the child has a long term health condition. The BBC recently reported that too few toddlers are turning up to have their vaccinations and part of the reason is a lack of awareness.

Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Top Tips for giving antibiotics to a baby

When your baby is poorly you want to do anything to make them better.
  • You'll rock them for hours every night, only cursing them silently or at least under your breath.
  • You'll wait for HOURS on hold to a GP receptionist in the morning.
  • You'll put up with her being totally inappropriate and using her secretarial college experience to diagnose your baby over the phone.
  • You'll accept her explanation that the only possible way to see a doctor before the end of time is to sit and wait for 3 hours.
  • You'll sit and wait for 3 hours with a screaming baby, patiently understanding that everyone is ill and everyone wants to be seen just as much as you do. (Except THEY don't all have a screaming baby in their arms do they?)
In short, as a parent of a poorly baby you are nothing short of a hero. 

It ain't easy having a baby who is restless, unhappy and clingy. It's even less easy when the little darling needs antibiotics! 

Giving a baby antibiotics is one of the hardest things I've had to do as a parent. And I'm a trained, experienced children's nurse. It's LITERALLY my job. And I'm crap at it. 



Monday, 24 November 2014

Mum's Christmas List

Dear Santa (beloved relatives and friends),

I have been extremely good this year, putting up with a lot of shit (both literally and figuratively) from my children without ONCE going on a killing rampage or leaving the kids in a cardboard box by the church door. 

This year, for the love of all that is festive, PLEASE don't get me anymore sodding bubble bath. I still haven't opened the 17 bottles I got at the birth of my first child. I know people mean well but unless you're going to come and take BOTH my children out of the house for an hour when I want a bath, you may as we'll not bother! 

So now we know where we stand on bubble bath, here is a list of things I have been coveting recently from the only friends I have, Cbeebies characters.

1. Grandpa's Shrinking Cap
Lucky old Grandpa, he just gets to tootle off to be tiny and magical whenever he fancies and no one ever screams "WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?" as soon as he leaves the room. Oh for that ability to disappear! I would use the shrinking cap mostly to hide from my children, and occasionally to freak them out by flying their retro fisher price plane. 


Tuesday, 18 November 2014

House Pregnancy

We are currently embroiled in the most agonising, boring, frustrating and all-consuming process we have ever been through, second only to pregnancy.

We are house pregnant. Waiting for the stork to deliver us our brand new family home to love and cherish for years to come. And just like being actual pregnant, being house pregnant SUCKS.


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