Friday, 9 October 2015

Washing away the day

When I get home from work I take off my uniform and put it on a hot wash. Then I run the shower as hot as it will go and wash myself. Then I have a hot cup of tea with my husband, (pretend to) listen to how my own children were that day and tell him about my shift.

These are the things I'm washing off my uniform:

  • Respiratory Syncytial Virus
  • Instant coffee stain from trying to drink a mug in 20 seconds without sitting down.
  • Tears from a child getting a cannula.
  • The smell of cat urine from IV ceftazidime that sprayed as I was preparing it.
  • Biro marks from forgetting to click my pen shut before putting it back in my pocket.
  • Sweat from struggling to feed and settle a screaming baby in a hot cubicle while wearing plastic apron and gloves.
  • Vomit splatters that missed the apron.
  • Toddler snot on my shoulder.
  • Make up from hugging a crying Mum.

These are the sounds still ringing in my ears that I drown out with running water:

  • The patient call bell
  • The IV pump alarm.
  • Babies crying.
  • Toddlers screaming with fear.
  • Tearful mothers.
  • Sats monitor alarms.
  • The phone.
  • Hacking coughs.
  • The door bell.
  • The bleep.
  • The crash bell.

These are the things I tell my husband over tea:

Friday, 2 October 2015


Have you seen the #thisgirlcan campaign? Showing women and girls everywhere that it's totally cool to get sweaty, wobble about and have fun playing sport. I adore it! I feel like little girls are growing up in a world where a lot of us are making big efforts to make the world a better place for women. I'm so into it that I NEARLY asked someone to take a picture of me trampolining the other day. Nearly.

Now I'm dreaming of a #thisBOYcan campaign, full of pictures of boys dancing and doing gymnastics, to take the internet by storm. Which it won't.


Monday, 28 September 2015

12 things they don't tell you about home births

As a nurse, there are few places I feel more comfortable than a good hospital. I get hospitals, I know what happens in them. When I was pregnant the idea of an emergency section actually made me feel quite safe. I knew how it would go down if my labour went a bit wrong. An emergency section felt like a good safety net rather than a terrifying unknown procedure. Hospitals are like a second home to me.

But home is my first home.

That's why I surprised many of my colleagues and decided to have a home birth. I have to say, predominantly doctors, but also many of the nurses I've mentioned my home birth to have been totally freaked out by the idea. For the medically minded, not being 40 seconds away from an operating theatre with a team of lovely people ready and willing to cut you open seems insane.

Those surprised and scared doctors and nurses have all read the research, they know that for a 2nd baby a home birth is proven to be as safe, if not safer than a hospital birth. But they still look at me sideways when I casually mention that I gave birth in a paddling pool in my living room.

That's how Baby 2 was born. No doctors, no resus trolley, no crash bell. But plenty of entonox!

Sweet, sweet, entonox

I find that people fall into 2 camps regarding home birth: 

a) Home births are wonderful, magical, spiritual experiences and you'll probably orgasm as you give birth to a soundtrack of whales and panpipes.

b) What the hell?! You might all die! And who will put your epidural in?!

So as both a person of medical profession AND a crazy home birth hippy, here's my slice of the middle ground...

12 Things no one tells you about home births

Monday, 21 September 2015

Factually Accurate and Entirely True Representations of raising Two under Two

A lovely lady recently tweeted me to thank me for some rubbish I'd written online somewhere which made her smile. She went on to say that she'd read my blog and the fact that I was still alive having had an 18 month age gap between my children was basically nothing short of inspirational. And she's right. I AM a wonder. Anyone who raises any kids is incredible, twins, triplets, small age gaps, big age gaps. It IS a wonder we're all still standing.

The lady in question is in her 2nd trimester with a just turned one year old baby. She's struggling to put him down in the cot without squashing the bump, in a few weeks she'll be struggling to get him in his car seat (unless this particular lady has super human biceps and arms as long as her legs, in which case she'll be fine). Basically, she's struggling, physically and emotionally with the bizarre knowledge that she's gone and gotten herself pregnant when she already has a baby! She asked me if I had any tips. And besides "I promise you will love your second baby as much as your first, although possibly not straight away" I have no words of wisdom to offer. Sorry.

I'm going to be straight with you lady (I'm going to call you lady because although I know your twitter handle, I don't know your name!) you are in for a tough ride. So instead of trying to make it sound like you'll be fine, (you won't) here is a visual run-down of the first year with 2 babies. Hopefully it will enlighten you, prepare you for the worst and indoctrinate you into the mindset that you have to laugh, even while crying.

Here's a Venn Diagram of your future:

Saturday, 12 September 2015

Jake and the Never Land Pirates Mighty Colossus Review

Pirates are a pretty big deal in our house at the moment. 
3rd birthday party: Pirates. 
Best day of the summer holiday: Pirate boat ride (canal boat with pirates on). 
Best ride at Peppa Pig world: Grandpa Pig's Pirate Boats.
Favourite Bedtime Story: Dinosaur Pirates

You get the pirate message. We love pirates. Arrrggh.

My eldest has a Jake and the Neverland Pirates costume which he wore to aforementioned pirate boat trip and sometimes just rocks out in at the park, but we'd never actually watched the show as my poor deprived children don't have access to the Disney Channel. (I know, someone call the social)

Anyway, I kid you not, the first time we watched it was 3 weeks ago at my Mum's house and during the show I got an email asking me to review this giant Jake and the Neverland Pirates Pirate Ship. DURING! I'm serious. I mean I think Disney might be stalking me. It was like one of those trippy google ads that know you want a new washing machine the same day your old one breaks, but taken to another level. 

Sooo... I said yes. OBVS. And here it is...

Jake's Mighty Colossus High Seas Adventure - The Review

They couldn't take their hands off it for a picture!